A(nother) New Year

I always find that New Year’s Eve can be anticlimactic, especially the evening and the countdown to midnight. When we hear the term New Year it conjures, for me at least, images of parties, groups of people, with drinks in their hands and smiles on their faces, counting down the last minutes and seconds, kissing at midnight, and bringing in the new year. 

Then, the resolutions start. I’m going to get in shape. I’m going to start going to the gym. I’m going to eat healthy. Dry January. Diets. Start running. Be a better husband/wife, father/mother. Try harder at work, and try to not let certain people frustrate me so much. Be more patient, understanding, and forgiving.

Already, only today, less than halfway through January, I have heard someone saying they are struggling with Dry January. And you know what that means? I know because I have done it too. Dry January, going to the gym more or just getting out for a run. But once that resolution starts to slip, and you miss that run, or you have that small drink after a long week back at work, or you can’t help but murder that pizza, you feel you have failed and the resolution goes out the window.

I don’t like the word resolution. It’s too definitive. Too absolute. And in the words of Obi-Wan Kenobi, Only the Sith deal in absolutes. cough - “Nerd.”

But instead of resolutions, why not say try? I’m going to try and go to the gym more. I’m going to try and eat healthier. Try and lose weight. Try to be more patient with people. With OURSELVES? Hmm, interesting.

My resolution - wait, slipped up there. What I’m going to try… is to be more patient. Not be definitively patient to the point of becoming a zen master. Let’s be realistic, that’s not me. But try to be more patient. Little by little. I’m not going to let things bother me as much. As much, see?

I want to write more.

The problem there - and this is not an excuse - is that time is precious. It is the most valuable commodity we have - something I wanted to write about in an earlier post but could never find the time, funnily enough. I have a job, an actual job, I’m a husband and a father, and it all takes time to be those things, which I’m happy to do, of course. But I still need to find the time to write. And I want to do more of that this year.

I’m currently writing a book - one of several that I have started, to certain degrees - and I hope to finish it this year, or at the very least complete a solid first draft.

Expectations. They are what control your happiness. If something exceeds your expectations, then you are happy. If something falls short of them, then you are disappointed. I’m not saying to lower your expectations, certainly not. But, perhaps, allow for some flexibility. Don’t be so rigid with your goals, your expectations, and your resolutions, but to allow a margin of error, some leeway, and cut yourself some slack.

If you’re eating healthy, it doesn’t mean pizza is suddenly a Hell-worthy sin. It just means that you need to moderate. It’s okay to indulge. But you know when you are overindulging. Having a slice of pizza doesn’t mean you have fallen off of the New Year’s wagon, just that it is all a work in progress. 

Progress, not perfection.

That’s a line that Denzel Washington says in the film The Equaliser. And a damn good line it is too.

You know the thing about Perfection…? It’s subjective. What is perfect to you is not necessarily perfect to someone else. The perfect body, the perfect sense of humour, the perfect food, the perfect drink, book, song, album, movie, whatever… What you think is perfect, the person next to you might think of as merely meh. 

Anyway, to wrap up this rant - the first in too long, that I’m not sure anyone will read, but I’m not too fussed about that. I’m writing more, at least. - I just want to say, to you, to myself, that resolutions are nonsense! TRY. And try some more.